FREEDOM,
by Donna McIntosh
Summary: Lureen tries to decide what to give Jack for their 20th wedding anniversary.


Title: FREEDOM

Author: Brokeback Mountain

Rating: NC-17 FRAO

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx. I make no money

Off of them.

Summary: Lureen tries to decide what to give Jack for their 20th wedding

Anniversary. Her decision? She gave him his freedom – a divorce.

FREEDOM

Ennis stepped out of the shower, dried off and put his pajama bottoms

and a clean undershirt on. He opened a beer; laid down on his bed and

turned the TV on. He lay there flipping from channel to channel when

he heard the vehicle stop outside. He ignored it. Since his trailer

was the first one from the road, people often stopped and asked for

directions. A knock at the door brought him to his feet. He let out

a loud belch and set his bottle down on the sink.

He looked through the window at the woman standing there and thought,

boy do you have the wrong place lady. Must be really lost.

A second knock came just as he undid the chain and opened the door.

"You lost?" He asked.

"That depends. Are you Ennis Del Mar?" She asked, straightening her

jacket, brushing off the dust. This woman clearly had never been in a

trailer park before. Her sort amused Ennis. She looked like

something out of a magazine, all prettied up, fancy jewelry and all.

"Who's askin?" What in the world would this woman want with him?

"My name is Lureen Twist. I've come a long way to talk with you. May

I come in?"

If he hadn't just emptied his bladder a few minutes ago, he'd have

peed his pants for sure.

"Uh..Yeah. Come on in. Jack with you?" He craned his neck to see if

anyone else was in the car.

"No. He's home; in Childress." She walked into the room and stood

looking around.

"Here." He pulled out his one kitchen chair for her to sit on. He

sat on the corner of his bed, across from her.

She sat down, trying not to touch anything, hands folded neatly in her

lap.

"I've been wantin to meet you for years but Jack tells me you don't

much care for travelin."

"I pretty much stay around here." He couldn't take his eyes off her.

She certainly was beautiful but he couldn't imagine Jack and her

together.

"I appreciate you seein me like this; without my callin first, I mean."

"Sure. No problem. Can I get you something? Beer? I think I got

some wine?" He stood to get her something; switched off the TV.

"No, nothin. Thank you. Just conversation is all I've come for."

"OK." He sat back down, dreading where this was leading; willing

himself to keep cool.

"You and Jack have known each other for a long time."

"That's right. Since '63."

"That's before we were married. We were married in '64."

"Yes, Ma'am"

"Do you have any idea at all, why I'm here?"

"No, Ma'am, I don't. I was wonderin."

"Our 20th wedding anniversary is coming up and I wanted to get

something special for Jack. Something he'd really appreciate."

"Ma'am, I don't know 'bout such things. I usually just give my girls

money when it's gift-givin time."

She smiled at him. He was nice and polite, she thought. She decided

she liked him.

"Do you have a cigarette? I left mine in the car."

"Sure thing." he got his package from the bed and gave her one; took

one himself and lit them both with a flick of his lighter. He dumped

the ashtray and brought it over to the table and sat back down.

She took a long drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke towards the

ceiling, her eyes not leaving Ennis' face.

"You mean a lot to Jack. You do know that, don't you?" She smiled at

him.

"Like I said; we knowed each other a long time." Ennis puffed nervously.

"I won't torture you any longer. Actually, I've already decided on

what I'm going to give Jack."

"Ma'am?" He squinted at her, not understanding her womanly ways at all.

"I'm giving Jack his freedom. I'm divorcing him."

"Aah... You sure 'bout that? You think that's what he wants?"

"I never did know for sure what he wanted. I just knew it wasn't me."

There was nothing he could say to that.

"Oh, don't look like that. It's OK." She soothed him, tapping her

ashes off into the ashtray.

"I just wanted to meet my competition. After seein you, I can see

there's no way I could ever compete."

"Ma'am, I really don't know what you're talkin 'bout." He thought

he'd try and run a bluff.

"I loved Jack the first moment I laid eyes on him." She said.

"I'm the one did all the chasin. Next thing I knew, I was pregnant.

He stood by me though and we ran off and got married. Daddy didn't

exactly make it easy for him, but he's stood up to him more times than

I can count. Helped me, to do it too."

Ennis sat with his head down, staring at his bare feet. He really

didn't want to hear their love story.

"He stayed with me even after daddy offered him money to leave. He

didn't have to do that. He's a good man."

"Yes, Ma'am." He had no trouble agreeing with that.

"After daddy died last year, he helped me with runnin the business,

helped me when I had to put Momma in a home, and helps me constantly

with Bobby."

"He loves that boy." Ennis chimed in.

"Yes, I know he does. I've never doubted that. And he's loved me

Too; to a point."

Ennis looked up at her, guilt drawing him up tighter and tighter.

"I think I've always known that his heart was elsewhere." She smiled

a sad smile.

"Ma'am, I..."

"It's OK, really." She reached over and touched a pajama clad knee.

"He's going to be a very rich man shortly. I've decided to sell the

business. Childress has grown a lot in the last 20 years and the

business has as well. My daddy left me a very rich woman. I intend

to be very generous with Jack. He gave me 20 years of his life, and I

appreciate that. I intend to show that appreciation now. I'm giving

him his freedom and his share of the assets will come to a little over

6 million. Bobby's all set financially too, and I'm off with some

friends of mine to do a little travelin. Always did want to go to

Europe; just never had the time before." She put her cigarette out

in the ashtray. "I've got the time now. I'm gonna go have some fun."

She stood to go.

"A...Ma'am...I...a..." He didn't know what to say.

"I can see why he likes you." she said walking toward the door.

"You be good to him now, ya hear?" She smiled again and was out the

door and gone.

He heard the car start up and drive away. He stood there in shock.

Started back towards the bed, then turned and walked back to the door.

He ran his hand through his hair and swore. "Jesus H. Christ!" He

didn't know what to do. Should he call Jack? Does he know? What

exactly does she know? And who else knows? What the hell's he

supposed to do now? All these questions swirlled around in his mind.

He sat in his recliner and worried. What should he do? He didn't

know, so he sat there. Next thing he knew, it was daylight outside

and he had to jump to it and get ready for work. It was a long work

week, he'd worked late every day and had little time to worry or even

think about Jack and the current situation. Saturday morning he had

to go over to Alma's and pay the child support for Jenny. Two more

payments and he'd be finished with it. Jenny was leaving for Casper

right after her birthday party and moving in with his sister. She was

going to nursing school there. She had qualified for a scholarship

and would be there for the next few years at least.

Saturday found him in a good mood. He had decided he was going to

call Jack and talk with him. Tell him about Lureen's visit.

He had just gotten back from Alma's and sat eating a sandwich when a

knock came on the door. He hadn't paid much attention to the traffic

outside. There was always a lot more coming and going on the weekend.

A peek out the window showed a brand new Ford pick up parked next to

his. Just at that moment, his front door opened and Jack walked in.

"You really should keep your door locked. No tellin who's likely to

walk in." He grinned.

Ennis grabbed him in a bear hug and thought for a moment that he just

might not ever let go!

"Son of a bitch! What're you doin here?" He asked, so happy to feel

those arms around him again.

"Got some news. But then, I guess you already heard?" Jack pulled

back enough to see Ennis' face.

"She tell you she was here?" Ennis never would understand women!

"Yeah. She tell you 'bout my little present?"

"Sure enough. So you gonna be a rich playboy now?" Ennis gave him a

playful punch in the gut.

Jack smiled and pulled Ennis back into his arms. "There's only one

boy I wanna play with." He kissed the side of Ennis' neck.

Ennis tugged him back towards his bed; dropping hat, shirts, jeans,

boots, and underwear in the few steps it took to get there.

Long minutes spent caressing skin, sharing deep soul-satisfying

kisses; combustible passion ignited, and sated; they lay wrapped

around each other, desperate for the need of touching and being

touched, holding and being held.

Jack, flat on his back, spread-eagle; Ennis on his side next to him,

head on Jack's shoulder, arm thrown across his chest, legs entwined.

Sweet moments filled with contented sighs, soft nuzzling; breathing

in each other's air. Total contentment.

The silence was broken when Jack whispered against the top of Ennis'

head between little kisses he'd been pressing there.

"We need to have a serious discussion here."

"Don't wanna move. Ever." Ennis answered.

"Me neither. That's what I wanna talk about."

"Jack..."

"Please, Ennis. Just hear me out. Will you do that?"

"Sure enough; I can do that."

"I bought a place."

Ennis leaned up on his elbows, still within Jack's arms. "In Texas?"

"No. Lightning Flat."

"Be close to the folks." Ennis nodded his head.

"Right next door."

"Next place?"

"Yeah. It's been on the market for years with no takers. Got it real

cheap."

"Good for you." Ennis looked down and picked at his nails.

"The old man's gettin on, nearly 70 now. Once he's gone, we can

combine the two places. Have the biggest place in the area."

"Yeah."

"Too much for one man to handle on his own." Jack said.

Ennis nodded.

"Be needin help to run it. You know of any ranch hands in the area

lookin for work?"

Ennis brought his eyes up to Jack's.

"I know where you're goin with this, Jack..."

"You said you'd hear me out."

"I'm listenin."

"I been tellin the folks for years that I was goin to move back there;

help them with the place. Bein right next door, I'll be able to do that."

Ennis just nodded.

"Can't do it all myself."

Ennis was silent.

"Only natural, normal thing would be for me to hire someone. Wouldn't

raise nobody's suspicions. Long as we mind our manners while we're in

town, I don't see any problem."

Ennis got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He relieved himself, cleaned up, came back out and got dressed. Jack

did the same. Ennis had a beer in his hand and holding out another to

Jack when he finished dressing.

"You know how I feel about this, Jack."

"I know. But I'm askin you now to re-think this." He took a long

drink of beer.

"Don't see as how this changes anythin."

"Yes, it does, Ennis. We can protect ourselves now. We got our own

place. We could get us a coupla guard dogs; get some hand guns.

Whatever it would take to make you feel safe." Jack offered.

"People would find out!"

"Not if we're careful. Hell, Ennis. I'm not askin you to walk down

the street with me holdin hands. I'm offerin you a job. You could

pull your trailer up there. There'd be no reason at all for anyone to

suspect anything. It's our chance to be together like we always

wanted. At least, I thought that's what we both wanted. Maybe I just

been kiddin myself all these years. Maybe it ain't what you want at

all." He went from being hopeful to being dejected in a minute's time.

Ennis stood leaning back against the sink, staring down at the floor.

Jack walked over and picked up his hat. "I guess I just been foolin

myself all these years thinkin you wanted to be with me as much as I

wanted to be with you." He reached for the door.

"Jack..." Ennis stopped him.

"What?" Sad blue eyes looked up at him.

"It just ain't done...not around here."

"We're not talkin 'round here. We're talkin Lightning Flat. What do

you know about what goes on everywhere anyway? You peekin in people's windows

checkin on who's sleepin with who?" Jack didn't want to give up just yet.

"Jack. Everyone knows when two people live together..."

"And how would anyone know we was livin together? You gonna tell

them? Wouldn't they just think that the hired hand would be livin in

the trailer he pulled up and the ranch owner be livin in the house?

Isn't that what most people would think?"

"And if they found out different?"

"Christ, Ennis. I thought you wanted this as much as I do. I guess I

was wrong." He wrenched the door opened, went out and was in his

truck and gone before Ennis could stop him.

Ennis paced the floor, drinking, smoking and cursing. "Damn fool

thinks he can just fool people like that!" "He thinks I'm gonna risk

my life!" "Just 'cause he's got money don't mean he can change the

world!" "Son of a bitch, who does he think he is, anyway?"

"Thinks he can come in here wiggle that sweet ass in front of me and

I'll run off after him!" "Son of a fuckin bitch!" "Where the hell

does he get off thinkin he can make my decisions for me?" "Get us

both killed, with talk like that!" "Ain't no way you could pull

somethin like that off." "Asshole!"

He lay back on his bed as darkness fell. He put out his cigarette in

the overflowing ashtray. "He'll be back. He always comes back.

He'll see I'm right." With that in his mind he fell asleep. Sunday

morning came and with it a sick feeling, deep inside him. "What if he

doesn't come back?" "He'll be back!" He argued with himself. He

wouldn't even consider anything else. He went about doing his weekend

chores, even going into town and stocking up on a few groceries;

gassing up the truck. Came back home and put stuff away and washed

his truck, cleaned out the inside. All day, he fiddled around,

keeping busy, waiting. No phone calls, no visit, no Jack.

Mondy morning came and he was off to work, cursing every mile he

drove. He did his job; spoke to no one, drove back home.

Nothing. No one waiting him. No phone calls that evening either.

Anger turned slowly to self-pity. He was lonely, miserable and had

been all his life. There was nothing and no one gonna change that.

It was his lot in life and the sooner he accepted that the better.

He ate dinner out of a can and went to bed. Alone. Like he had

always been. He did notice though, if he slept on the pillow next to

the wall, he could still smell a little of Jack's aftershave. The

smell of Jack. He curled around that pillow and fell asleep.

The entire week went that way.

Saturday morning he awoke, showered, dressed, got in his truck and

headed east. Four hours later he pulled into the small town of

Lightning Flat. He stopped at the first gas station and asked

directions to the Twist Ranch. Thirty minutes later he pulled into

the Twist driveway. Jack's truck was parked there and he pulled up

next to it. He sat there for several minutes trying to decide what to

say. He stepped out and stretched and the thought occurred to him that

it had only been a four hour drive; and he wondered how Jack had so

eagerly made all those 14 hour drives without complaint. He

remembered the time Jack had come up to Riverton right after the

divorce and he had sent him away. A sickness rose inside of him as he

remembered the look on Jack's face. How many times had he hurt Jack?

And he always came back. This time, he wasn't so sure he would. He

had to find out.

A frail looking woman stepped out of the house, brushed her back into

place and waited for him to approach.

"Ma'am. My name is Ennis Del Mar. I come to see Jack. Is he

'round?" He stood, hat in hand.

A slow smile crossed her face, taking 20 years off her age. "Why, yes

he is. He'll be mighty pleased to see you." She nodded for him to

come in as she opened the door.

"He'll be right down. I got him and his Pa movin some furniture down

stairs."

He heard them on the stairs as he stood in the kitchen waiting. They

clunked their way into a back room and set the chest down.

"Jackie?" Mrs. Twist called. "You've got company."

"The guy from the bank? OK. Be right there." Jack's voice called.

Mrs. Twist gave Ennis a sweet smile and waited for her son. He came

into the room, tucking his shirt in. He looked up, saw Ennis and

froze in his tracks. The old man brushed past him into the kitchen.

"Who the hell are you? You ain't no banker." He glared at Ennis.

Mrs. Twist hurried around the kitchen getting glasses of tea for

everyone. She handed Ennis one and he thanked her.

"Pa. This is Ennis Del Mar. I been tellin you 'bout him." Jack said

staring at Ennis.

"Yer boyfriend? Don't look queer to me." He slugged down his tea

and walked out the back door slamming it behind him.

"Shoulda warned you about him." Jack apologized.

"Why don't you take Ennis over and show him your new place, Jackie.

I'm sure he'd like to see it." Mrs. Twist said.

They went out, got into Jack's truck and drove off in silence. In

minutes, they pulled into the overgrown place next door. The big old

house sat back in the middle of the place. It had been deserted for

years and looked it. They sat in the truck in silence.

"It's not much right now." Jack said. "A little work...well...a

lot of work, and it can be a right fine place. Sure as hell gonna be

a shame for a body to be livin there all alone."

"I don't know what to say, Jack," he fumbled for words.

"Just say what you came to say. Then we'll say good-bye like always,

and I can go on tearin my guts out knowin, if I'm lucky, I might get

to see you for a coupla days in another 3 or 4 months." He couldn't

keep the bitterness out of his words.

"House don't look all that bad. Can we go in?"

"Why not." Jack sighed and got out.

They walked through the musty old house, some rooms smelling better

than others from the open windows. It was the typical farm house,

just larger than most. Shotgun style, hallway down the middle with

four rooms either side of the hall; upstairs the same.

"Big place." Was all Ennis could think to say as they walked back out

onto the front porch.

"Didn't buy it for the house. Bought it for the land. Some good

grass; the right kind of stock, some hard work and this place will be

up and running."

"You plan on doin all that yourself?"

"Hell no! I was plannin on you and me doin it. But it looks like

that won't be happenin so I'll get myself into town and see if I can

find someone. You ain't the only ranch hand around you know!" He was

still angry.

Ennis walked back and got into the truck. Jack followed, slamming the

truck door beside him.

"So what the hell you doin here, anyway?"

"Don't know." Ennis chewed on his thumbnail.

"We could do this, Ennis; you and me together. Don't you think we

deserve a little happiness after all this time?"

"It ain't never been about that."

"Then what fuck is it all about? Tell me that. I love you! I

thought you loved me. We've got it all now, Ennis. We've got a

place, we've got money to set it up right. Why can't we be together?

Tell me that, so I can understand why I have to be this miserable!"

"I'm scared, Jack." He put his face in his hands.

"Shit, Ennis." He pulled Ennis into his arms. "Everything in life is

a risk. But you can't stop livin cause you're scared."

"You ain't scared? You ain't never given it no thought about bein

beat to death if someone finds out?"

"Yeah, I thought about that. I also thought about wreckin my truck

out on the highway makin all those drives up to see you, but that

didn't stop me. Lots of things scare me but I ain't gonna crawl away

and hide in a hole somewhere. That ain't no kind of life at all. I

want what I want and I'm goin to live my life. I ain't answerin to

nobody no more."

Ennis looked up at him, tears glistening in his eyes.

"And if I go on back to Riverton?"

"Then I'll find someone else." Jack answered, determination clear on

his face.

"You'll find someone else?" Ennis squinted at him; reading more into

that statement than Jack had meant.

"I ain't livin the rest of my life alone, Ennis. I want it to be you.

That's what I've always wanted; but if that ain't gonna happen; I'll

just have to find me someone who's willin to take that risk with me."

"You'd do that?"

"I would."

Ennis straightened up, pulled out a cigarette and lit it; sat staring

out the window.

"I gotta decide right now?"

"You don't gotta do nothin!" Jack said disgusted. He keyed the

ignition and drove back to the Twist driveway. They sat in silence.

"You best be on your way. I gotta lot of work to do." Jack said. He

climbed out of his truck and headed back to the house.

Ennis got out and went to his truck and sat there smoking.

Dinner time came and he was still sitting there.

"Go out and invite him for dinner." Mrs. Twist pushed her son.

"He knows where the door is." Jack answered sitting down at the table.

"Girlfriend mad at you?" the old man said snickering.

Mrs. Twist and her son exchanged looks, but said nothing. They picked

at their food as the old man wolfed his down as usual.

"You queers!" The old man said in disgust, tossing his napkin down

when he finished. He slammed out the kitchen door and strode over to

Ennis truck.

"Get the hell off my property, faggot!" he hollered.

Jack could hear from the doorway and it was like a knife in his heart.

Ennis started up his truck and spewed dirt and stones and he peeled

out of there. He drove to the end of the driveway, spun the truck

around in a cloud of dust and drove back before the old man got back

inside. He came out of his truck and in a few runnig strides made it

to the old man. He grabbed him up by the overalls.

"I'm here and you better get used to it you old piece of shit! Jack

told me all 'bout you; the things you done to him. It ain't happenin

no more!" Jack stepped out the door just then.

"I made my decision. I'm movin in." He said to Jack, then to the old

man, he said, "You got a problem with that? Let's hear it right now,

otherwise you keep your fuckin insults to yourself or I'll shove them

down your fuckin throat!"

The old man pulled loose from his grip and went back into the house;

Mrs. Twist stood by, both hands on her mouth; eyes wide and frightened.

Jack put an arm around her shoulder, kissed her cheek and sent her

back inside.

"You sure about this?" he asked Ennis.

"Absolutely positive. That truck of yours got a hitch on it? My

truck ain't strong enough to pull my trailer."

"Yeah, it's gotta hitch. Had one put on when I bought the thing.

Made sure it would pull a trailer." He smiled that crooked smile of

his, standing there, hands on hips.

"OK, then. I'll spend the night at the old place. We can head back

to Riverton tomorrow. Got lots to see to." They walked back to

Ennis' truck. "Gotta get the place set up for my horses. Get notice

to my boss I'm leavin. Got enough in the bank to pay off my last two

payments to Alma. Where do you wanna start? The house? or the rest

of the place? Gonna take a lot of work."

"Ennis. Ennis! Wait a minute. You can't stay there. Place is a

dump right now. We got rooms up stairs."

"Nope. As long as that old man is alive, that's his house. I ain't

stayin under the same roof with him. I'll be fine at the house."

"OK. On one condition. I stay with you."

"You don't have to do that. You got a nice house here."

"We didn't worry 'bout no house up on the mountain." He reminded him

with a sexy grin. "Listen, I got all my campin stuff in the barn.

Let's grab it, and we got some containers out there we can draw some

water to take over. C'mon!"

They got in Ennis's truck and drove up to the barn. Ennis turned the

truck around and they got out, and loaded up.

"Ain't never camped out inside a house before." Ennis said with a

slight upturn to his mouth.

"It'll be fun; dirty, but fun."

"Hell, I been dirty before."

"And will be again." Jack laughed as he handed him the jugs of fresh

water he was drawing from the spigot.

"Jackie?" the timid little voice called out.

"Yeah, Momma. Everythin alright?"

"Absolutely!" she smiled at him then to Ennis she said, "I knew you'd

be stayin. I just knew it! Here." she thrust a sack to him.

"It's dinner. You were too busy thinkin to eat before, but you gotta

eat." She noticed all the camping gear going into the back of the truck.

"I'll expect the two of you for breakfast! 6:00 sharp now. Don't be

late." She smiled at both of them and hurried back inside.

"She for real?" Ennis asked, peeking into the bag.

"She is. Shoulda warned about her too. She'll be doin her motherly

thing all over you."

"Think I'm gonna like it here." Ennis pulled out a bisquit and bit

into it.

"What's not to like? A place of our own, and home cooked meals right

next door. Course it comes with the old man too."

"I admit, he is worrisome; but you were right. It was time for me

to make a decision. I had to choose whether I wanted to live the rest

of my life with you or without you. When it came right down to it,

the choice was easy."

"Well you sure could have fooled me! Figured you was gonna take to

root there in the driveway!"

"C'mon. Let's go home." Ennis climbed into the truck, chewing on a

drumbstick.

The End


End file.
